Mists and mellow fruitfulness my arse!

I have to say, I'm not the greatest fan of autumn. It is a time of the year when lots of Bad Things seem to have happened in my world. Or perhaps, it is not that more Bad Things have happened in autumn than at any other time of the year, but simply that the wet, grey descent into winter amplifies the misery. Any road, whatever the reason, today is a day for moaning, so here goes.

On Monday I betook myself to the oncologist for my annual checkup and, as predicted, was taken off Tamoxifen and put onto this aromatase inhibitor thingy called Letrozole. No bad thing, per se, since Tam is useless for old ducks like me, whereas Let is apparently Just The Ticket.

So that's the good news. However, like a bad 70s comedy sketch, hard on the heel of the good news comes the bad: I'll probably have to take the new tabletki for another five, count 'em, five years. Now, I know I should be grateful and all, that the creaking, cash-starved NHS is willing to stump up the readies for another 5 years of prophylaxis, and I know this is so much better than getting another cancer, but I'd painted this picture in my head of what it would be like when I got to the end of the Tamoxifen years next October. I'd be able to lose a bit of weight, my hair would regain some of its former glory, my fingernails would toughen right back up so I could wear nail varnish again, I'd stop having inexplicable aches and pains all over my bod, I might even stop the migraines, etc, etc. In short, I could go back to being Me, instead of Cancer Patient. I feel like a prisoner who's not just lost the chance of parole but whose sentence has actually been extended. I now have a whole new set of potential side effects to keep an eye open for and to worry about. I tell you, hypervigilance is a tiring game - I've played it for the last 4 years and I've had enough.

Bah, humbug!

On the bright side however, it appears to have stopped raining, so I shall get dressed and take a stroll into town to pick up a CD from the record shop and a pair of trousers from the Surly But Efficient Alterations Ladies.

Oh, and I think I have a cold a-coming.