Meanwhile in Emmerdale ... (4:2 haiasI)

... Dopey Jo, a formerly feisty young woman whom lurv has rendered mindlessly unregarding of her own safety, was finally pushed too far by her meat-fisted lunk of a husband, Andy the Batterer last night.  An unfortunate altercation in the barn, whence Jo had fled for 'safety' (seemingly heedless of the fact that Andy has a propensity to burn alive in such buildings the women he loves) ended with the Batterer battered, or at least impaled on a nasty, sharp piece of farm equipment ...

... thus proving that Jo really needs to reread her Bible.

Meanwhile in Emmerdale ...

... Jack "Born to be Riled" Sugden reels from the fallout of his exploding house - cats are out of bags, pigeons have come home to roost and pipers are about to be paid (probably in dead cats and pigeons) as one of his fire-starting offspring heads for chokey and the other yet again seeks to blame everyone else for her own wanton disregard for the safety and well-being of others (a trait she shares with, among others, our own dear ex-prime-minister Mr Tony Blair).

Still, at least the Woolpack didn't burn down this time.

meanwhile in Emmerdale ...

(haven't been here for a while)

... Rosemary, The Black Widow of the Yorkshire Dales, has come over all Mrs Danvers on her mournfully baren daughter-in-law Perdy, doping her orange juice, hiding her kitten and bestrewing the attic with baby clothes. Why the sinister old bird is tripping merrily down the Gaslight path to Charles-Boyer-Ville I have yet to determine. Could be she has some sinister outcome in mind or could be she's simply run out of spiders to de-leg.

Damned fine telly, though.